Emails to my children
If today were the last day of your life, would your kids know who you were? Would they know about you when you were a kid? What you did for fun, where you grew up, your dreams, your hardships? Would they know how you fell in love for the first time and how that person broke your heart? Or how you made so many mistakes in school, but, in the end, it turned out alright because you learned from it all? Will they know how you couldn't help but cry when they were born? Or that you hated disciplining them that one time they did something that you would do yourself but you had to because how else would they learn?
It may not be a priority to you right now that your kids know all that, but what if you don't have the time you thought you would to get to it? Through the news and social media, around the world or even right next door, we see just how fragile life is. How it could all end in an instant. So, what if it happened to you?
Hopefully, you live a long, beautiful life, but time could still slip away from you. Even your day-to-day life can sap up a lot of your time. When it's wake up, get ready for school and work, school and work, chores, dinner, bed, wash, rinse, repeat, where is the time for your kids to get to know you?
I'm 36 years old, and I feel like I'm still getting to know my parents. I don't think I had the presence of mind when I was younger to ask them about their lives before my siblings and I came along. And I probably wouldn't have if it hadn't been for my wife. Back when we were dating, she gave me two books as a birthday gift--My Dad: His Story, His Words and My Mom: Her Story, Her Words. She had my parents fill out these books, answering questions like "What kind of house did you grow up in, and what was the old neighborhood like?" and "What was the best lesson your mom and dad ever taught you?"
My parents - image by secondshotsphotography.com
When I started to read my parents' answers, I thought to myself, "Geez, there's so much I didn't know about Mom and Dad!" Not only was it fascinating to read about when they were younger, but it made me better appreciate the choices they made for our family. I got a clearer and fuller picture of them as people, meaning I got to see them as more than just their roles as my parents. I loved that, and I loved and respected them even more.
Reading those books made me think about what I could do for my kids to help them get to know me. I wanted to do something that I could start now so that whatever I wanted to share with them would be fresh on my mind instead of trying to recall it decades later. Something that I could easily get to whenever and wherever I felt like it. And something that my kids could easily access without the chance of losing it (as I write this, my wife and I are trying to find those books she gave me years ago—they're somewhere in our house...I think.). Then it hit me.
I write emails to my kids. It was really easy to start. I created Gmail accounts for them when they were born and got to writing minutes later (my first emails to them were about their births and welcoming them into the world). And I can write emails to them anytime and anywhere—on my phone, tablet, at home, at work. Plus, it's easy to add photos or videos that I just took on my phone, like Gio's first smile. Another great thing about emails is that I can write them to my children individually or all at the same time. I've written to Xavier about being a good big brother, Gio about being the second child but being just as loved as the first child, and to both of them about the strength of family.
The logistics of getting these email accounts to them will be the tricky part. I've left the login information to my wife just in case I can't give it to my kids myself. I think I may have to leave the info in my will or on record elsewhere in case both of us can't do it. But, ideally, I'd love to give them the accounts myself when they're 16 or 18.
Hopefully, my kids will enjoy reading emails from their dad as much as I've enjoyed writing them. The way I see it, it's kind of like time travel—a voice from the past talking to them in their present day. And that's pretty cool.
What about you? Are you doing something to share with your kids when they get older? If so, I'd love to know!
