Your kids are going to make you cry

Dear moms,

Your kid is going to make you cry. It's a known fact. And I don't mean the "Gosh, my child has come so far, and I'm so proud of him" kind of crying, though I hope there is that. I mean the "Did he just say that to me? I carried this kid in me for 9 months, 9 painful months! My pants didn't fit! Not to mention the hours of labor. I passed on the epidural! And then I fell in love with him, love at first sight. And I'd do anything for this kid, and he just said THAT to me?" kind of crying.

And it's not only the crying, your kid will make you angry. He will make you sad, frustrated, and scared. With one simple word, one heated exchange, with one act of defiance, he will make you experience the gamut of negative feelings. Feelings you didn't think were possible to feel when you think of your child. He will make you wonder, maybe briefly, probably secretly, if it was even worth it having a kid.

How do I know all this? Because that kid who did all that? That kid is me. That kid is you. That kid is your brother, your sister, your cousin, your college roommate. That kid is your kid.

But, as a kid who now has a fantastic relationship with his mom, I assure you that it will get better. There will be a turning point. A point where your kid realizes what he's doing to you, realizes that you are a human being who has feelings, and realizes that he should stop being an insensitive, selfish child and start being a compassionate, respectful child. 

That point happened for me long ago when my siblings and I were still living with my parents. I was 10 or 12. I was somewhere in my house, but I could hear my mom and my brother having a fight in the kitchen. I couldn't hear what they were saying to each other, but it was getting really loud; they were both raising their voices. I decided to go down to the kitchen to see what was going on, but all I saw was my brother storm off. My mom stood near the kitchen island for a second, watching him leave. And, when he was gone, she crumpled to the floor and started crying quietly, covering her hands with her face.* 

I don't think my mom saw me, otherwise she probably wouldn't have let herself be that vulnerable in front of me. And I didn't know what to say to her. All I could think to myself was, "I don't ever want to make my mom feel that way. I don't ever want to make her cry."

From that day on, something changed in me. I saw my mom, not just as Mom, but also as a person just trying her best to raise these three kids of hers. Just doing what she thinks is right for her family. And I didn't want to be someone who got in the way of that. I wanted to be the kid who tried to understand her and understand how she was trying to raise me. That rules weren't arbitrary, that advice wasn't given just to be given, that she loved me.

So, moms? It gets better. I promise.

I love all the moms in my life, and I hope y'all are feeling the love in your lives right now. Happy Mother's Day! 

*Sorry bro, I'm throwing you under the bus for this post! And, for the record, my mom and brother have an awesome relationship nowadays, too.